Funny quotes Quotes
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.
Unknown
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote in a national election
Bill Vaughn
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work ask him, 'Whose?'
Don Marquis
How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.
Unknown
Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for
Ogden Nash
One of the best lessons children learn through video games is standing still will get them killed quicker than anything else
Jinx Milea
Children always know when company is in the living room - they can hear their mother laughing at their father's jokes
Unknown
The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
Fred Astaire
Babies are such a nice way to start people
Don Herold
I was so surprised at being born that I didn
Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
Woody Allen
Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Denis Patrick Carlin
